I was going to write to you earlier this week but realized that although I could see your face clearly in my mind, for a brief few moments, I had forgotten your name. As I pondered this little dilemna, your name came to me, but then I thought to myself, “I am not going to kiss your silence with my words”. After all, it is you who walked away, without even a goodbye. And I am well past the age where I chase after anyone who chooses to walk away. I do miss you, but after forgetting your name, I realize that time will take away that “missing” and you will have been, like so many others, just a blip on the screen of my life.
Yesterday my brother in Missouri kept sending me videos of the snow they were getting all day. It was really pretty, I admit. But this morning he is complaining about the temperature being in the single digits (kind of like some Ghostt I know). I miss seasons, but I don’t think at this point in my life I could deal with that frigid cold. I would need a big old bear to keep me warm!
So I will just settle for living here in paradise where it was 71* last I looked, and will got up to the low 80’s. I think my old bones can handle that a lot better.
I took a couple of shots in my back yard this morning to remind you people in the frozen tundras, that summer is just a few months away 😉
I have taken to waking up at odd hours. It started a couple of weeks ago when I awakened to the pitch black of night, wide awake. I looked at my watch and it said 4 AM. Try as I might, I could not get back to sleep, so I got up, made some tea and sat in the recliner pondering the state of my life and the state of the world and other things. Things like “what the heck am I doing wide awake at 4 AM??”
I figured it was an anomaly (I wanted to use a different word here, but it wouldn’t come out of my brain ) . But no, the next night, same thing. I wake up, look at my watch, 4 AM , wide awake. Nobody wakes up that early unless they are a baby wanting the boob, or an old person. At least they don’t wake up wide awake and ready to go.
This went on for several days until last night. Last night I wake up, wide awake, look at my watch. It is 2 AM. WHAT??? I can live with the 4 AM rising time, 2 AM is a bit much. By the time the sun rises, I am ready to go back to bed. But if I do that, I won’t be able to get to sleep when normal bedtime arrives.
Normal bedtime used to be 11 PM. I would wake up at 7 AM. The last couple of years, bedtime seems to be earlier and earlier. Going from 11 PM, to 10 PM, and finally to 9 PM. But I would wake up at 6 AM which is quite acceptable. It gives me time to sit in the semi-darkness until the sun comes up.
I’ve noticed lately that I “want” to go to bed at 8 PM and sometimes even earlier. But I know that is way too early. If I go to bed that early, I might wake up at 4 AM. Hmmm, wait, I might as well go to bed at 8 PM because I am already waking up at 4 AM.
I used to laugh about my mother and father in law going to bed before sundown. Now I see why. They must have started waking up at 4 AM…
There are other reasons why I am officially old, but I will save that for another time here on my once in a blue moon blog.
In other news, something else is official. I’ve seen arguments lately about whether the moon is big ball in the sky or a flat light disk. But I watch the moon everytime it is full and I have photographed it many times. And I officially proclaim that the moon is just a big moldy orange!
One thing i learned on this road trip is you can’t run away from the crap in your world.
Got back home and decided to shut my phone off because I don’t feel like dealing with everyone’s drama. I don’t make my own drama, I live a peaceful life and keep to myself. I wish I could move to a place in the middle of nowhere without cell service or internet. But not sure that place exists anymore.
On the bright side, the kids who moved back home are doing well. He starts his job with NASA on the 15th of this month and then they will be looking for a house of their own. They are not part of the latest drama. These are some great “kids” and wonderful parents. It did me good to see their smiles when I got back home.
That’s all I’ve got right now. I know, BORING. But such is life and I like it that way.