The other day I was making a video for a dear friend. I had tons of things to say, but the minute I started talking, it all slipped away. Drained out of the holes in my head like my brain was liquid. I find this happens a lot lately since I turned the big 65, the official elderly age, though I don’t feel elderly. It’s kind of disconcerting to think about my age because my mind is certainly not elderly, though I do have those grumpy old lady moments more often 😆. I think I just need to embrace my oldness and enjoy whatever time I have left on this earth.
I have decided I will live to be 83. I think that is a good age. One where people will say “she lived a good life, God rest her soul”. Yep, 83 it is. I actually saw that in my head on a couple of occasions when I was pondering my mortality. It makes sense now because I always said I wanted to live long enough to see my grandchildren graduate from high school. Well, I am expecting a new grandbaby in December, so when he graduates I will be 83, provided he doesn’t fail a grade.
Speaking of grandkids. I finally got all four of my grandchildren together for the first time this past weekend. It’s been hard since the one was born in Idaho and then lived in Georgia for awhile. He is almost 5 now. The other two live in South Carolina, both teenagers who have jobs and lives. It hit me this weekend that my oldest grand will be 20 in February!! 20??? How did that happen???
Anyway, here they are, my pride and joys, or is that my prides and joys?
I won’t be leaving these pictures up for too long so if you stumble across this at a later date, I have removed them.
I have other things to say, but I am too lazy to write at the moment, so I will just wish you all a happy week. Oh, my grandkids call me Nana. The next named hurricane will be Nana. Watch out!!
So what is it you want to know about me ? I’m not going to tell you my real name, where I live, how much I weigh, or how I make my living . This is, after all. the internet, otherwise known as the twilight zone and there are strange and crazy people lurking in every corner so the less I reveal about myself, the better off I will be if I get stalked by one of the aforementioned creatures. I am here to write whatever the heck falls out of my brain on any given day. Don’t look for there to be any sort of theme or consistency to my writing . I just go with whatever happens to be there when I sit down and start banging my fingers on the keyboard. Then you get the honor and privilege of reading it and either admiring my wonderful mind, or telling me I am full of BS . It doesn’t matter to me as long as you take the time to read, comment, or block me if you so choose . I’m really just here for myself and to stalk one of my oldest online friends . Having said that, I do love reading what other people write. So I will be visiting you from time to time in between stalking my good buddy. And that is all I have to say about me or about anything at this moment. Oh, I am OLD now so don’t worry about me chasing after ya if you are a guy. I can’t run that fast anymore and I wouldn’t know what to do with ya if I caught ya . I’m more like the hovering 65 year old granny who will give you words of wisdom or bake ya some cookies or something like that. Ok, now I am shutting up.
I know it has been awhile since I have written anything. No reason, no excuse, I just haven’t. So today, I will make up for it by sharing what the voices in my head have to say. Mind you, these will be quite disconnected thoughts because that is how my mind works and probably always will till I kill off the people in my head.
Have I succeeded in making you think I am nuts? Well guess what? The whole friggin world is nuts, every last one of you, myself included.
So moving right along…
Why is it, that you (you meaning anyone, everyone, the great all encompassing mass of humanity you) . Where was I? Oh yeah, why is it that you can write or speak a thousand words, sing the praises of someone, give them a pep talk, encourage them, etc, but all they can respond with is something negative. Out of all those words, they pick something that they do not agree with, and they tear you a new butthole, or speak in their condescending manner toward you as if you are stupid. Oh well, that is that and that is how bridges are burnt…
So I think I killed my butterflies 😥. I think those cocoons are just dried out husks containing dead caterpillar cells. Oh well, I tried. The grandkids won’t get to see them emerge and become beautiful creatures who won’t live long anyway, because butterflies don’t live long and they live even less long if some brat catches them and tears their wings off. I remember boys who used to do that. I guess they got some cheap thrill out of if, kind of like these people who get cheap thrills out of tearing down statues, or burning flags, or throwing rocks and bottles at police officers. What goes around comes around though. If I haven’t learned anything in my almost 65 years, I have learned that karma is a bitch.
Speaking of bitches… What is it with these foul mouthed young women these days? Do they really think anyone is going to take them seriously? If you cannot string together a coherent intelligent sentence, but instead, you string together a profanity laced tirade — Well sorry, I am not going to give you any serious consideration. I’ve become quite good at blocking out noise in my old age and not because I am deaf!
I’ve been getting restless again. I always do in the summertime. I hate Florida in the summer. The heat and humidity just pisses me off, so I don’t spend as much time outside as I would like. Every summer I get the urge to pack up and get out of dodge. I could get good money for this house right now so it would be a good time to sell and go find my little shack in the woods where I could live out the rest of my life surrounded by nature and no people. There are some obstacles to this plan though, so here I sit and I will probably die in the state of old folks, but one can dream right?
I am going to be a grandma again. I’m too old to be a grandma again. I have four grandchildren and the little one, who is four, has taken to mocking his Nana when she tries to get up off the floor after playing trucks with him all morning. He finds it quite funny that I make such weird noises as I try to get up and on my feet again. He likes to make those same noises as he gets up and then makes those noises around other people and says “that’s what Nana does”. So, I am happy for my daughter that she is going to be a mom again, but I don’t think I will get down on the floor and play trucks when he is four years old. Yes, it is a boy.
Yesterday I heard a song, I didn’t particularly like the song, but there was a line in that song that stood out. “When all the hate burns off, I am left here with the pain”. That resonated with me for a lot of reasons which I won’t go into here since I rarely bare my soul anymore. But I will leave you all with a lesson I learned in my life and that lesson is this —
Forgiveness goes a long way toward healing the pain.
Oh yeah, this was last night’s sunset. I love the clouds, I always look for pictures in the clouds. My daughter saw an angel. I saw three pigs… 🤣😗